How to Be a Red Carpet Badass – The Expendables II Premiere (VIDEO)

The Expendables 2 Premier (Paris): Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger

We can sometimes be tough on celebs and wannabes who disgrace the red carpet with stupid  poses, but we also strive to help those who are red-carpet-challenged by offering some friendly, free advice on how to step up their game. If you think you’re going to be on anyone’s Red Carpet in this lifetime (posing for the cameras and attempting to be fabo) then this post is for you too.

The video footage below is from The Expendalbes 2 (@Expendables2) premier in Paris, features Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger (the legends of action movies — the genres Granddaddies (no really, they all have grandchildren)) working the red carpet at the premier and it’s quite the spectacle. They make working the red carpet look like  an adventure.

There is much to be gleaned by looking at this video. But here’s just a few tips from these legends that we picked up on. These tips could make anyone (even a 75 year old action movie hero) OWN the carpet like a pro:

  1. Wear a suit (preferably black or grey, the better, shirt color open – three buttons);
  2. Have dramatic, loud theatrical score music similar to action movie music playing as you work the carpet.
  3. Do not smile. Look unbelievably and unreasonably bored and pissed off while signing autographs (although, we don’t to get why Jean Claude Van Damn is so pissed – this is his first gig in over a decade – you’d think he’d be doing back flips and VanDamn splits down the carpet after collecting these checks especially after he was blacklisted).
  4. Have bodyguards in suits who looked more pissed off than you are escort you down the carpet.
  5. Have a really hot blonde chick or an angry black chick who looks like she is itching to kick your ass, walk behind you (listen, we didn’t make the rules, we’re only reporting them).

Voila! Red Carpet Cool.  Disclaimer: We are aware that, despite our third tip to not smile, the photo above shows The Expendable 2 stars smiling ear-to-ear. This underscores our point. They look like wax figures from Madame Tussauds Museum.

Check out the live video demonstration of Red Carpet Cool below (if the reviews are to be believed, it looks like this video clip from the premiere is better than the movie so grab some popcorn and enjoy). And to underscore the complexities of human beings yet again, we’ve also had to call these legends out on Stupid Poses as well HERE and HERE.  Such is life.

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About Red Carpet Gods

We are saving the planet one red carpet at a time. No human being should be subjected to a celebrity’s awkward, “look-at-me-I’m-so-cool” crappy pose.
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